Fathering is the toughest, most heartbreaking job in the world. Yet, at the same time, it is the most uplifting, exciting and rewarding job ever designed. I love my kids, as I am sure all fathers do, and I’ve managed to learn a few lessons along the way. Even as I look ahead, I know that the learning will not end here.
Lesson #1:
God gives us kids so we can get a glimpse of just how much He loves us
When I used to watch parents change a poopy diaper, I would say to myself, “NASTY, I’m sure glad I don’t have to do that!” Then I had my firstborn son, Isaiah. The minute I knew he had a poopy diaper, I wanted it off him. I changed it quickly and it didn’t even bother me. In fact, I was glad I could help... I learned a valuable lesson that day; I didn’t want my son to be sitting in NASTY, and God doesn’t want us sitting in our own NASTY, whatever that may be. He loves us too much and wants to help us clean up our lives.
These are the positive, or fun examples. I won’t go into the bad ones, but trust me they’ve happened as well. We must constantly be mindful of our actions because they pick up on everything; every attitude, every word, and every action.
Lesson #3:
Everything is better when we do it together
On a warm June night earlier this year my two oldest boys and I were weeding the garden. As I weeded around the pepper plants, Nathan and Isaiah were working around the squash. They were reminiscing and laughing about all the fun times that they have had together. I have to confess that listening to a six and a seven year old boy start every other sentence with, “do you remember when” or “do you remember that time” was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. Here we were weeding the garden (boring) yet having a blast.
Sometimes it can create conflict as well, but when you force yourself to be around and work with your family, it will always produce good long term fruit in the end.
Lesson #4:
Honor your father
This past year we went on a special fishing trip with my dad just a month before we lost him to cancer. We honored him as we had the grand kids sit and listen to his stories. We honored him as we did hospice care in the home. We honored him as we held his hand when he breathed his last breath. My kids witnessed all of those moments, and the moments were not lost on them. It has sparked many great conversations and my kids honor me more for having seen it.
There were times in my life where, because of my father’s alcoholism during my youth, I found it difficult to honor my dad. As I grew in my faith and watched my wife honor her father, I gradually learned. All of us have our own issues, and so do our fathers. But in honoring them we honor God’s command, and through that we will be blessed.
I love my family. I love my wife and I love my kids. Everyday forces come at us to tear our families apart. We must be vigilant and intentional. We must always pray and seek God’s help to overcome the outside forces and our own internal struggles. We can’t be lazy lest we should loose that which we love, that which we are called to protect and defend.
